The Grand Tour: Fife and Beyond

Ramblings of an inveterate cyclist

 So Boris came on a flying visit to Scotland today, the First Minister advised, it was inappropriate since we are in lockdown and should only travel if it is essential to do so. (but the law has never applied to Boris, even international law, that he was willing to ignore in his pursuit of Brexit).

Alistair Carmichael, Liberal Democrat MP for Orkney and the Shetlands, (a unionist) was less cordial, warning Boris to axe the trip unless he had “some real work to do”. Ouch!

I am not signed up to tweeter, but I’m told that Boris tweeted on the 25th Burns Birthday,

“Burns suppers are one of the highlights of the year and I’m sad that millions of Scots across the world won’t be able to come together to toast one of our finest poets. We will do so again but this Burns Night, please stay at home”.

Got that Boris, but have you?.

And Burns would have a message for Oor Boris,

Ah Boris thou art but a skellum,

a blethering, blustering drunken blellum.

Or mebbe

Ah, gentle dames it gars me greet,

To think how mony lengthen’d sage advice,

Boris frae Oor Nicola despise.

Or a verse almost penned with de Pfeffel Johnson in mind

Ye see yon birkie ca’d a lord,

Wha struts, an’ stares, an’ a’ that,

Tho’ hundreds worship at his word,

He’s but a coof for a’ that.

I say come up to Scotland as often as you like Boris, for you are about as welcome as a bad smell in a lift, and the best ‘Recruiting Sergeant’, we could wish for in the Scottish Independent Movement.

It was notable that he went nowhere near any Scottish fishing harbours, or stopped for a photo shoot with one of Rees-Moggs, ‘Happy British Fish’ this time around, Oor Boris is no that daft.

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